thenerdygirl: (Pumpkins)
[personal profile] thenerdygirl
How do people have kids and still get shit done? I mean, I don’t have kids, it’s just the two of us, and I feel overwhelmed by life on a daily basis. I can’t fathom throwing kids in the mix, yet that is something I’d like to do eventually. We’re nowhere near discussing it and are content with where we are in our relationship but of course it was thanksgiving weekend. We had two dinners with John’s side of the family and there was a adorable baby so naturally John’s aunt brought it up. She also asked how long we’ve been married which was pretty funny because then we had to explain we’re just living “in sin” together., she didn’t say that, I just like the phrase XD

Rambling aside, the point is you good parents out there impress the hell out of me and I don’t know how you do it. My life isn’t even that overwhelming; I just make myself feel that way because there’s always a ton of things I want to do and I have perfectionist tendencies. I have the unrealistic notion that my day should be easily broken into portions where I can accomplish the stuff I want to do without feeling tired or cranky. As mentioned, this is unrealistic but that doesn’t stop me for beating myself up over not being more productive, accomplished, and organized. Something I have to work but I’ll ramble on about that some other day, when my head is in a more positive place.

Really I just wanted to post to say I’m still around, apologize for not commenting back and thank everyone for commenting on my posts. Happy belated Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrated it this weekend!

Date: 2015-10-13 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Parenting of a newborn is a task even with two parents... nothing got done that first year.

Now that I'm a single parent with the child half the time, I find it really easy and enjoyable. I get a lot done on the days I don't have her, which is funny as when it was two of us raising her together, nothing ever got done...

Date: 2015-10-16 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's what John's cousin & wife, the parents of the adorable baby at Thanksgiving, said. That's interesting and it makes sense. When doing it together I imagine it was really hard to find time to yourself.

Date: 2015-10-13 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm going to answer this with something my boss gave me as a process to use at work for prioritizing things and allocating inmportance:
Most important, urgent, have to do - DO IT
Can someone else do it for you? - DELEGATE IT
Not that important, can wait? - DEFER IT
No benefit to anyone, not important to you at all - DROP IT

And I have to say, parenting is a lot of knowing what is a DEFER and what is a DROP ;) And then DELEGATING what you can TO your child (pick up your own ties, make your own breakfast ... clean your own bathtub, feed the cats) to reduce your own unending lists. And then you wait it out until they get older and it gets easier. Haha.

Date: 2015-10-16 07:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hahahha the Eisenhower method ♥ I gave a presentation on this at my old office (I was team leader for a team of translators), because I was baffled by how people kept prioritising things they should be dropping or delegating. Whoop. It's a fun system, and I like that it can be applied to absolutely all aspects of life 8D

Date: 2015-10-16 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's good, I need to remember that :)

Date: 2015-10-13 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm the same way aka perfectionist tendencies who wants to accomplish everything and then feels guilty/shitty if I don't. I try to learn to go with the flow.

Happy belated Thanksgiving to you as well!

Date: 2015-10-16 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm trying to learn how to go with the flow but am still figure out how to make it stick.

Thanks :)

Date: 2015-10-13 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
As a single parent, I can tell you that a lot of things just don't get done. I haven't dusted my house since we moved in. I haven't started raking leaves out of our yard. I do the basics that we need and the rest, well, someday. Maybe?

Date: 2015-10-16 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's reassuring lol.

Date: 2015-10-16 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Haha! I mean, I could've lied to you but I didn't want to do that to you.

Date: 2015-10-13 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Its not hard.  I always had the little one with me.  If i had to dust, they helped.   Making grill cheese for lunch, always shred the cheese for better cheese strings of gooey, they helped.  Play time! Kids teach you to still have fun and adventure by letting the kid in you out.

Date: 2015-10-16 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My mom is of the same mindset of it not being as hard as I imagine it would be. Perhaps it's just my worrywart tendencies that make me think it is....although I do know a few young parents who find it hard. Then again. they have newborns lol.

Date: 2015-10-16 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

New born is probly your hardest.  Sleep training and night feedings.   In the end i found it all worth it especially sneaking Goober some ice cream here and there.  He loved it lol

Date: 2015-10-13 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I agree...I don't know how parents do it. What about the ones that have 4 kids? LOL. I have two dogs and sometimes, they take away all my energy and patience, haha. I really can't imagine having kids, especially now that I am in my late 30s. I would be exhausted!

Date: 2015-10-13 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have no idea, LOL, I barely get things done and we have no kids

Date: 2015-10-14 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't have kids, and I can't even wrap my brain around taking care of children with my upside down, hectic schedule. I have a couple of my friends with kids and in my eyes, they're rock stars. I don't know how they do it.

Date: 2015-10-14 03:23 am (UTC)
jexia: (Me 2015)
From: [personal profile] jexia
It's hard as hell and I never get to stop.

Date: 2015-10-15 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes to all of this! I just had this exact same conversation with my friend the other day (she has a one year old and I can barely take care of myself).

Date: 2015-10-15 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have NO IDEA! I did a brief babysitting-as-part-time-job back in the early 2000s and let me say just spending those few hours with those kids was enough to make me snap. I guess if they are YOUR kids you don't actually have to pay attention to them the way a nanny/babysitter would LOL. Sorta like how I ignore my cats all the time but Sylvia plays with them when she is here.

Date: 2015-10-15 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Happy belated thanksgiving :) I dunno how people get stuff done either with kids, haha.


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