thenerdygirl: (Pumpkins)
How do people have kids and still get shit done? I mean, I don’t have kids, it’s just the two of us, and I feel overwhelmed by life on a daily basis. I can’t fathom throwing kids in the mix, yet that is something I’d like to do eventually. We’re nowhere near discussing it and are content with where we are in our relationship but of course it was thanksgiving weekend. We had two dinners with John’s side of the family and there was a adorable baby so naturally John’s aunt brought it up. She also asked how long we’ve been married which was pretty funny because then we had to explain we’re just living “in sin” together.

.....no, she didn’t say that, I just like the phrase XD

Rambling aside, the point is you good parents out there impress the hell out of me and I don’t know how you do it. My life isn’t even that overwhelming; I just make myself feel that way because there’s always a ton of things I want to do and I have perfectionist tendencies. I have the unrealistic notion that my day should be easily broken into portions where I can accomplish the stuff I want to do without feeling tired or cranky. As mentioned, this is unrealistic but that doesn’t stop me for beating myself up over not being more productive, accomplished, and organized. Something I have to work but I’ll ramble on about that some other day, when my head is in a more positive place.

Really I just wanted to post to say I’m still around, apologize for not commenting back and thank everyone for commenting on my posts. Happy belated Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrated it this weekend!
thenerdygirl: (Tea club)
This week hasn’t been as stressful as I feel like it has been but knowing that hasn’t stopped me from feeling so on edge and scatterbrained the past three days. I’ve been trying to update but every time I do I feel incoherent so if this is incoherent I apologize :P

On Monday I booked the plane tickets I need for a trip I’m taking in January 2016. My friend is getting married on a cruise so I need to fly down and back from Florida which luckily I have enough air miles to do. Unfortunately I was stupid and put off booking my flight last month so I had only one choice for the departure flight which I can work with but wasn’t as good as the options I had in July so I was kicking myself pretty hard Monday. Kicking myself was unnecessary because I still have lots of time and I just need to book a hotel that will allow a later check in, which the one I’m most interested in will allow. I just have a tendency to do that when I make mistakes.

Once again I realize I really have to crack down on my spending. I know, I know. Make a budget, stick to it, stop buying shit you don’t need. Easy in theory but surprisingly hard in practice, especially since I’m still adjusting and recovering from having to make a sudden move in March this year. Since I wasn’t updating back then and have added a bunch of people since then, I’ll explain. Back in 2012 I moved into my own basement apartment where I lived alone and this year in February there was water seeping in from the exterior of my landlord’s house. My landlords checked it out, realized it had been going on for some time and that they had to do a lot of repairs so I had to move. It was really too bad because my landlords were awesome, the best landlords I’ve ever had, and I loved my little apartment. One upside was that my partner John and I decided that since I had to move it was a good time to find a place together. I had to move back with my parents for a couple of weeks but after a lot searching & viewing we lucked out. We moved into our current apartment in April, which is in a great location and came with great landlords, so it all worked out but it was a blow to my budget. I’m still trying to adjust to living with a partner and manage my finances’ accordingly. You’d think it’d be easier with someone else helping with the rent but the rent is higher than my last place so it’s not that much cheaper plus there were added expenses. Having this trip coming up is exciting but financially a bit stressful.

...that’s probably the big reason I’ve been so scatterbrained on edge this week, now that I think on it. I know it will work out and I’ve even started working on ways to make some extra money outside my job like flea markets & craft fairs but I do have to be more mindful of where my money goes.

On the upside though, yesterday John joined the gym at my work place which I’m already a member so we’ll be able to work out together. Which is good because I’ve been terribly slack with exercising this year so I’m hoping this will motivate the both of us.

Also, I finally got a chance to borrow Seconds by Bryan Lee O'Malley from the public library (not the university library where I work) which was great. I've been itching to buy it and resisting the urge because I was hoping one of the libraries I use would get it. It's a good read, in some ways I like better than Scott Pilgrim but I wouldn't call it better. Perhaps just as good but in a slightly different way? It's less video game based and more folklore based which was interesting. If you're a comic reader and if you liked Scott Pilgrim I'd recommend checking it out.

BTW, is anyone here is on goodreads and would like a friend? My profile is here, feel free to add me if you'd like and I'll add back.
thenerdygirl: (Ms. Scarlet)
I get in these periods where I feel connected to people, others were I feel only marginally connected, and some times where I feel completed disconnected altogether. Sometimes it amazes me how quickly I can flirt between these feelings in a social setting. At my core I know there are certain people in my life I'll be connected to even if I feel disconnected and act like an ass but it's not always easy to remember that. Lately things have been good but the past couple of months or more I've had more disconnected feelings than I would like. I'm not sure why I feel this way although it's got me thinking I should be trying harder to be social and connected.

...the only problem is that I'm an introvert who loves her alone time with a passion. Now that I'm living with my boyfriend (which, sidebar, is fantastic overall) I'm even more possessive of my alone time when I get it. So what's a cantankerous introvert to do?

Social media came to mind, particularly after I updated my LJ yesterday. Why not try to be more active on social media?, one of the voices in my head proposed. A nice idea but one big fat fly in that plan is that I'm a notorious slacker. I tend make grand plans to do post every day, add people, and comment more often but then three weeks in I either feel overwhelmed and want a break or I slack off, realize I didn't accomplish what I wanted and feel like shit.

I don't know, I guess the only thing I can really do is try and try again. I mean, I might not succeed in being more social but as long as I keep trying I'm not exactly failing, right?

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